“JUST PAY YOUR DEBT!” WHEN DAILY EXPENSES BECOME IMPOSSIBLE

first, let me say that it’s easy to feel frustrated when someone doesn’t repay a debt. But, before assuming the worst, it’s important to consider the possibility that there are unseen struggles at play. Before we start name calling, social media shaming, destroying friendships, and above all developing enmity even among relatives and long-term friends, consider understanding why they are not paying. We’ve heard statements like “When you borrow you were ok but when comes to paying you have amnesia”, and “Just pay your debt!” it is easier to assume the person is irresponsible, untrustworthy, or intentionally trying to avoid their obligations. However, the reality is often far more complex. 

This article is not to advocate or encourage people not to pay their debts. Debt is to be paid but sometimes people find themselves in positions that are too tight that they run out of explanations to give you.

Not Paying Debt Is Not Always A Choice

It’s crucial to remember that, in many cases, failing to pay a debt isn’t a deliberate attempt to cause harm. People experiencing hardship might feel overwhelmed, ashamed, or paralyzed by fear, preventing them from proactively addressing the situation.

We used to think the same too, until we got ourselves into that position of not being able to pay debts. It is a position that unless you’ve been there you might never understand when someone fails to pay you back.  When people borrow, most of them already have a plan on how they will pay it back, some project a deal that they are expecting, others assume that what they are going through is temporary and it will take just a few weeks at most 2-3 months. They plan on how this will turn out but along the way the unexpected happens, one thing follows another, and by the time the deadline arrives, they are in an even worse position than they were before.

Most people who can’t pay their debt don’t have a fallback support. When we talk about fallback, we mean family. For some, a supportive family network can ease the burden of debt by offering temporary financial assistance or emotional support. For those without this safety net, financial setbacks can be even more overwhelming. Unexpected events like illness or job loss can quickly turn into debt if there’s no one to lean on. Without family support, individuals may rely on external sources of help, which will eventually lead to higher debt burdens. It is very easy to bypass this observation if you don’t inquire about the real reason why they are not paying your debt. 

Most Debtors Suffer In Silence

Most of these people suffer in silence, they cry when they are alone, they hide their fears, struggles, and pain by forcing themselves into groups and sometimes you can even find them buying something with friends, but that doesn’t mean they have money to spend but not to pay you. Sometimes the only way for them to run away from the reality of life is to be with people who don’t know them well and being with them makes them want to fit in unless they run mad because of what they are going through.

You might see these people eat, haven’t gone homeless, pass by with some groceries, their kids go to school, their partners look great, etc. Whatever you assume they have, might be misleading. If you sit down with them, you will realize that they haven’t paid rent for several months and they get threats of eviction every day, they have a tuition deficit, and someone just sends them some money for groceries.    

It is a tragedy for some who’ve been in the same position at some point in life to forget what it was like to be in a dark corner that even words fail to explain your real position.

Note to remember; When you have money, you will have friends, family backing, and colleagues who will be there when you are lacking some few monies to push you or assist you with finances. The family will bail you out, but the moment life takes an unexpected turn that you don’t have access to income, your business is shutting down, you lose your job, sickness hits you, fighting divorce through lawyers, or anything that ruins the flow of money, you will realize that those people who used to come to your rescue when your business was booming or when you were on top of your career and healthy are going one by one until you remain alone.

5 Reasons Why People Fail To Pay Back Debt or Bills

1. Job loss or business not doing well: An unexpected layoff or a sudden decrease in income can create a major effect, and heavily destroy an individual’s financial situation.
2. Medical Emergencies: Unforeseen health crises can be devastating, not just physically but also financially. Medical bills and missed workdays can lead a person into significant debt.
3. Overwhelming Expenses: From paying house bills like, electricity, water, internet, and rent to unforeseen expenses like having family emergencies eg having an autistic child, older debts emerging, evictions that require financial urgency, etc can suddenly escalate beyond an individual’s capacity to manage.
4. Miscalculation and Mismanagement: Sometimes, people simply make mistakes. A missed due date, a miscalculated budget, or a misunderstanding of loan terms can all leave an individual in the lurch.
5. Mental Health Challenges: Financial anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles can impact a person’s decision-making and their ability to manage their finances.

Finding Solutions: Understanding Financial Difficulties

While we acknowledge the complexities surrounding unpaid debts, it’s equally essential to stress the importance of repayment. Here’s advice for those in debt:

• Don’t disappear. Contact your creditors, explain your situation honestly, and explore options such as repayment plans or temporary hold.
• Seek Help. Financial advisors or non-profit credit counseling organizations can offer valuable assistance in developing a plan to manage your debt.
• Don’t sacrifice your basic needs. Essential expenses such as housing, food, and healthcare should always take precedence. However, a responsible plan includes a strategy for tackling outstanding debt.
• Don’t let the weight of debt crush your spirit. Even small payments made consistently show good faith and can make a difference over time.

A Plea For Understanding

As a society, let’s strive to replace judgment with understanding when it comes to those facing financial difficulties. While creditors have the right to be repaid, extending a degree of empathy and flexibility can go a long way in helping individuals overcome financial challenges and ultimately meet their obligations.

Debtors should always be honest with their creditors about why they cannot currently make payments. Explain your situation in detail, outlining the specific reasons for your financial difficulties. It’s best to avoid setting specific payment deadlines, as this can lead to broken promises and damage trust with your creditors. Instead, negotiate for more time or propose alternative solutions, such as making smaller payments when extra income becomes available. Or promise them that once you get a job you will prioritize them. Try showing them what you are doing to fix your situation. This demonstrates your commitment to resolving the debt without the pressure of unrealistic deadlines.

Be aware that some creditors may not be understanding of your situation. They might focus on your basic needs being met and disregard your overall financial hardship. In these cases, remember that your health and the well-being of your family take priority. When possible, allocate funds towards your essential needs. Focus on what you can control within your means and try to accept that some circumstances are simply beyond your immediate ability to resolve.

In Conclusion

Though empathy is key, it’s important to move toward action. If you are the one struggling with debt, don’t hide.