When come to being in a committed healthy relationship, everybody’s desire to walk hand in hand with their partner. No one wants a one-sided relationship; we all need our partner’s love and support. The success or failure of a relationship is based on contribution of each party to the relationship. Relationships work best when both partners contribute their best qualities. The best version of a committed relationship is when you decide to give your 100% not 50% expecting the other person to bring 50%. Committing without expecting the same from the other person results to a successful relationship.
WHAT TO DO WHEN I’M GIVING 100% IN THE RELATIONSHIP BUT THE OTHER PERSON ISN’T?
We can approach this question based on the status of the relationship and categorize the status into two primary phases: 1. The dating phase which covers both dating and engagement. 2. The marriage phase. So, to answer this question, let’s analyze them within these specified phases.
1. DATING PHASE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Engagement is an important thing in every relationship. It simply means “I’ve weighed the pros and cons, and the pros are weightier than the cons, so I’ve decided to enter marriage with you.” Whether a couple finds themselves already in a relationship or marriage falls into place automatically, the goal remains the same – to build a family together.
However, the success of a marriage is not solely based on how the couple entered it, but rather on their commitment to compromise, love, endurance, and focus on meeting each other’s needs.
Remember, being engaged or getting engaged is not a right, but a privilege. There are millions of people who may be more beautiful or richer than you, yet they long for what you have. Treat your engagement with the utmost respect and treasure it. Failing to do so will cause you to overlook its significance and treat it as a normal thing.
Understanding the meaning of Engagement in a relationship
Engagement serves as a pivotal moment in a relationship. It symbolizes the commitment to embark on a lifelong journey together – a journey that involves shared dreams, aspirations, and responsibilities. The engagement period allows couples to prepare for marriage emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It’s a time to solidify their connection and strengthen their bond before taking the next step towards matrimony.
A successful marriage requires careful preparation. During the engagement phase, couples can address any lingering issues and learn how to effectively communicate and resolve conflicts. It is also a time to align their goals and expectations for the future, ensuring they are on the same page and ready to support each other’s aspirations.
Material gestures often play a significant role in the early stages of a relationship. However, it is essential to manage expectations and understand that material possessions do not define a relationship’s success or longevity. While gifts and grand gestures can be meaningful, they should not be the sole basis of a partnership. True love and commitment stem from deeper emotional connections and shared values, rather than the value of physical possessions.
Starting Right: Building a strong Foundation
Starting a relationship on the right foot is key for it to last! Sometimes, those early, over-the-top gestures can make us expect more than is realistic long-term. If fancy dinners and gifts were the norm at the beginning, it can be a let-down when things become more grounded in reality. That’s why talking openly about money and how you like to show affection is important from the get-go. partner especially to someone that is meant to be your lifetime partner for the truth about you will come out when married and that will bring so many pains in marriage.
If you continue giving your 100% but your partner isn’t, then maybe it is time for you to walk away for there are some characters that will never change. Do not be deceived that they will change with time. Change is a personal thing which you are not sure if they will want to change. However great you might think you are; you cannot change anybody. Remember during dating phase, you have options, you have option to either continue with the relationship or walk away which nobody can hold you liable of it.
This is your life and if you decide to enter marriage with such a person then you will be bound to submit to that character that you despise now. Your partner will remind you how you met them and knew who they were while dating but you chose to proceed with marriage so you can’t change them.
Preparing young people for relationships
One of the major challenges we have today is that we either don’t have mentors, someone to prepare the young people for the next step as far as relationship is concern or the generation think they know better and wouldn’t hear any advice from anybody. Our boys think women are wired like men; they just can’t comprehend why women won’t understand the situation.
They are not prepared mentally to understand that the problem is not the woman but their lack of preparation on bringing a woman in their life. “Boys” don’t understand that women “value material things” not that women are materialistic people, but they are wired to interpret love to mean or accompanied by “valuable things” like a good car, a good house, an expensive phone, just as men interpret love as respect and a submissive wife.
Relationships today lacks preparation during dating stage. Many young ones enter relationships without adequate guidance or mentorship. It is essential that young people are educated about the dynamics of healthy relationships, communication skills, and the importance of mutual respect. By equipping them with the necessary tools and knowledge, we can help young people develop healthy and fulfilling relationships in a society that often emphasizes materialism, it is crucial to challenge misconceptions and raise awareness about the true value of a relationship.
Misconceptions about Women’s Values
As said earlier, it is a common misconception that women solely value material things. While it is true that some women appreciate material gestures, it is essential to recognize that this does not define their worth or the success of a relationship. Women, like men, value emotional connection, trust, and respect. It is crucial to move beyond societal stereotypes and understand that women’s desires and needs are diverse and multi-dimensional.
Raising Awareness about Relationship Dynamics
It is important to educate individuals about healthy relationship dynamics. Understanding the principles of effective communication, emotional support, and compromise is vital for building successful partnerships. By providing accurate information and dispelling common misconceptions, we can foster healthier relationship expectations and behaviors.
Building Mutual Respect and Understanding
True partnership requires mutual respect and understanding. Both partners need to value and appreciate each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and contributions. By cultivating a culture of respect and empathy, couples can create a foundation of trust and support. Material possessions should never replace genuine love, care, and emotional connection in a relationship.
Evaluating Relationship Priorities
When evaluating relationship priorities, it is important to prioritize emotional connection, trust, and shared values over material possessions. The worth of a relationship should never be measured by the value of an engagement ring but rather by the character and qualities of the partner. Is the partner supportive, respectful, and committed? These are the qualities that truly matter in a lifelong partnership.
Fostering Emotional Connection
Emotional connection forms the foundation of a fulfilling and lasting relationship. It is crucial to invest time and effort in building emotional intimacy, deepening the understanding of each other’s needs, dreams, and fears. Through open and honest communication, couples can strengthen their bond and create a solid framework for a thriving relationship.
The True Essence of Love and Partnership
Love and partnership go beyond material possessions. They encompass care, support, and unwavering commitment. It is essential to embrace the true essence of love – an unconditional and selfless bond that transcends materialistic desires. When both partners prioritize each other’s happiness, growth, and well-being, the relationship flourishes, and the significance of material things diminishes.
2. MARRIAGE PHASE
A committed partner in marriage is like having a rare treasure that cannot be easily replaced. Live your life in such a manner that if you are no more for whatever reason, your partner will never recover from it for you were the best of them. Your absence would leave an irreparable void in your partner’s heart, for you were their greatest companion. Don’t live recklessly by not being the best that whenever you are no more for whatever reason they celebrate that you are gone. Be irreplaceable, strive to be indispensable and you can only be that if you give your 100% commitment in the relationship.
Most marriages break up because someone or both parties did not understand their assignment in marriage. Some take advantage of others while others give up being the only grown up in the relationship. People nowadays treat marriage like friendship where if the other person is not contributing you walk out. They have forgotten their vows so fast. The moment you cross over to marriage you must put on big boys’ pants and do everything you can to make it work.
Unlike in dating phase, when come to marriage, options are limited. But that doesn’t mean you should lower your standard. There is always advantage in relationship when both partner gives their best individually. But today we are talking about when one partner is not giving their 100% what should the other partner do?
Consider the wisdom of Proverbs 25:21-22
“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the Lord will reward you.”
In this verse, we learn that the benefit of doing good to someone who doesn’t appreciate it makes it hard for them to continue doing bad, as they become guilty of not doing good as well for your kindness is like a hot coal on their head, which they can’t take it anymore. Continue giving your 100% and somewhere along the way they will reciprocate matching your dedication. Your Kindness might save them as discussed through the article HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOXIC PERSON.
We are not saying you won’t or should not feel tired, you should be but let your partner know about it too, but not in a single day should you give up being the good one in the relationship. Your goodness will save your marriage in the long run. Don’t be deceived, everybody understands what they have.
A partner understands that you are the best kindhearted treasure in their life even if they don’t tell you verbally. They recognize that they have the best in the house. Nobody in their full mind will want to lose such a treasure, one who gives their all. At the beginning they may behave reckless in their actions, but they understand that they can’t afford to lose you. A committed person is everybody’s desire to have on their side, not just in relationship but even in corporate world.
IN CONCLUSION
Engagement holds immense significance in a relationship. It serves as a commitment to embark on a lifelong journey together, building a foundation of love, trust, and mutual understanding. While material gestures may play a role in relationships, they should never replace the true essence of emotional connection, respect, and genuine love. By focusing on these core values, couples can build strong foundations and navigate the challenges of life together. Remember, the worth of a relationship lies in partners giving their 100% commitment and devotion to each other.
